Back in time

I feel like time is moving like a G6. Or flying like a G6. I can't keep up these days. There's this guy that I sit close to at work who is probably, let's say, 22. He listens to music while he works and we make jokes that he's listening to Jay-Z. And I think, isn't Jay-Z for the old folks like me? I think nowadays, Far East Movements, and whipping your hair back and forth are way cooler. I could be wrong on that last one.

So I'm attempting to study after putting the banana to bed. But by the time I'm ready to sit down and crack open the books, it's already 9:30 and I'd rather be sleeping. This has become my life as of late. This makes me want to turn the clocks back to those days when I would come home from work and eat a quick bite to race to get ready to go out, all fresh and new. You know that feeling when you were on top of the world? Young and spry and full of life? I listened to a friend of mine describe her most recent Saturday night where she hung out at a music studio, drank wine and sang music with boys and guitars. The night unfolded to drunk friends and ridiculousness. I told her I felt like an outsider listening to her story, like "tell me more" with my face pressed up against the glass. Those days are so shiny in my mind. Big hoop earrings and ridiculous nights with wine.

Can you see up my nose?

I can't imagine going back there...back in time. Or maybe I can. I think that maybe I would appreciate it more. Back then, I used to wonder if  there was "more to life than this", those late nights, dancing, dressing to impress. And there certainly was. There most definitely was more to that. There is being a mom and using every last corner and curve of your heart to love that little being that laughs and giggles at the stupid things you do.

But I still wish that once in a while, Victor and I could get out and drink some wine and enjoy each other out of the confines of our four walls x 2. Thing is, I find it so hard to make the effort. And not just with Victor but even any late night event with friends just seems too much. And then I fear the hangover the next day...that lazy, dull feeling. How can I ever make B laugh or clean up that last thrown spaghetti strand off the floor with patience if I have a pounding headache? It's tough, this mom thing. Worn out from work and wanting to unwind yet unwinding means laying on the couch for a measly five minutes before cracking open a book or emptying the dishwasher. Most times, unwinding means singing and signing itsy bitsy spider and head and shoulders, knees and toes.

I know that other parents do it - have nights out once a week or some crazy thing like that. I just can't see how. But I wish for the desire to just do it. And I wish I may, I wish I might.

Sour face

Victor just introduced me to a Chinese remedy, given to him by his new friend. It's a bitter tea that has left me with sour face for the last hour. I can't get rid of sour face. My forehead is in a constant state of furrowing. I tried shaking it off in front of the mirror but it's still there.

Anyways, I don't know what the tea is called, but I'm going to nickname it "bile". Apparently, it increases energy, improves your mood and cleans out your system. And even though I was sceptical, I totally feel it. And I only drank a half a mug full.  I might get hooked, but only if it doesn't cause forehead wrinkles from all the furrowing.

So in completely unrelated news, Bella is in love with earrings. See example here:



My little gypsy


Anytime she sees anything resembling an earring, she puts them up to her ears and cries for me to put them on. She's 16 months going on 16 years.

I got my ears pierced when I was right out of the womb. And I think I must have moved while they were getting done because one hole is lower than the other...so much so that there's really no lobe to hold earrings on my right ear. So I think I'm going to wait to get B's ears pierced. I want to make sure she's ready and willing before we take that step. Definitely to avoid lop-sided earring holes.

So as you can tell, this was a post to "just post". I have limited material today.

Accepting acceptance, big life changes and coffee shop pick-up lines

As you can tell by the above title, I was accepted!!! I realize after writing this that I never really divulged what I was applying for or for that matter, what I was hoping to be accepted to. So here goes: I was accepted to a master's program that I have been living and breathing and eating and sleeping. I have been immersed in a crazy amount of desire, buckets of it actually, a desire to be accepted into this program that I believe will change my life. And two days after my interview, I was told that I'm in! Immediately I was insanely elated. I was at work when I found out and all I could do was sit at my desk and smile. For 3 hours. I texted Victor and emailed a couple of friends. Then just sat there for 3 hours working away and not being able to concentrate.

Then you know what I did when I got home? I started to let doubt seep in again. I started to think "do I really want this?" "Maybe this isn't actually what I want to do." Then "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?" Typical me, after receiving good news, I celebrate first for a short while, then start to doubt with a smidge of fear. Funny being I am. But I've reconciled with myself and everything is good. I'm still a little fearful because I have a couple of difficult years ahead of me, but all in all, I'm in a happy place.

With this news comes some big decisions as well. The master's program requires me to devote 40 - 60 hours a week to my schoolwork. So that's like 40 - 60 hours on top of having a full-time toddler and job. It's tough to even imagine how I will cope...so Victor and I are thinking of some ways to manage this. And we'll leave this discussion for later.

So amidst the good news and celebration, we also won $75 on a lottery ticket on Saturday! Which was super well-timed because we had planned on going on a little road trip over the weekend. We drove up towards Whistler and stopped in Squamish. Had coffee and met a super cute couple with a baby. It was strange, because we talked for only a little while and I realized we had a lot in common. Then, Victor, B and I went back to the car...and I said out loud "I should have given them my number or facebook or something". And Victor said, "why don't you?". So I kind of boldly walked back in and gave them my facebook "handle" and email address. I totally just picked up a couple in a Starbucks. It definitely felt like I was asking them out on a date. But they seemed cool with it. I mean, they could have "wtf"-ed to each other after I left, and I may never hear from them again. But c'est la vie no?

And now I'm going to get ready for bed...10pm that feels like 9pm but really feels like 11pm to me. Good night!

As you shoot through the sk-y-y!

After my interview, I went for lunch with a friend and was ECSTATIC. I felt relieved, proud and giddy at the same time. I felt like I really nailed it. Then doubt started to set in. We went shopping at H&M and all I could think was "why didn't I say this?" or "why did I say that?" as I flicked through racks of flowy dresses. Then my mom called and asked if I asked them what they thought my chances are. NO. I didn't. That would have been a great question to expand on and respond to any concerns they had. I hate the aftermath of interviews. All you can think of is how you could have done better.

Despite this, I think the interview went well...I felt like I was on my game. For the most part.

And so while I drove home, I decided to play the crystal ball radio game. It's silly but I'll ask a question in my head, and turn the radio to a random station. I'm sure you can guess what I asked. And you know what I got? Katy Perry's "Fireworks" verse: "As you shoot across the sky...baby you're a firework...come on let your colours burst...".That put a smile on my face...because all in all, I'm pretty sure I really was on fire.

And so now I wait for 2 months to find out if they chose me out of THREE HUNDRED applicants. Yikes, now I'm more nervous than I was before the interview.

BUT the cutest thing of all? Was when I was trying on my suit for the interview and Bella looked at me and said "spicy!!!".

Where ya been?

Hola amigos! I've been keeping a low profile lately...and mainly just working and working and a little more working. Which has left me pooper scooped by the end of the day.

Do you ever feel an aversion to your computer when you get home? I do. The last thing I want to do is sit down and write when I spend most of my day doing the same. But I love this blogging game and I need to commit.

So anyways, I guess since I last posted, I've aged two months. And so has my little bean burrito. She's now of the jumping variety as well since I enrolled her in gymnastics! What fun! Although, I spend most of the time sweating from chasing her around the gym. While the other toddlers sit and listen to the teacher, B is making a b-line to the trampoline...or the balancing beam...or the BALL PIT. Caps necessary because apparently it's the most exciting thing since sliced bread. The good thing is that I get a bit of a workout on those early Sunday morning classes.

And so back to me. I have an extremely important interview on Monday. One that will determine my future for the next couple of years. And all I can do is bite my nails. I had planned that this weekend would be all about prepping for my interview. But so far, I've cleaned the apartment, bought groceries and helped my mom get back into her place after Bella dropped her keys down an elevator shaft! And now I'm totally exhausted and ready for bed at 8:16pm on a Saturday night.

Oh also, I saw the movie "Just Go with It" last night and loooved it. I could have been easy to please as I was tired and brain dead. But it was a good light-hearted and funny (yet completely unrealistic) movie. Adam Sandler at his best with just ridiculous (but not overly cheesy) slap stick humour.

The movie date all started after V and I had made chicken and corn tortilla fajitas. My mom was over as she was locked out of her place. We thought it was the perfect opportunity to get out together. So we picked a movie randomly and drove out to Riverport theatre in Richmond. When we got there, we were both so tired and thought (aloud) that maybe we should just get popcorn and play some video games. But the popcorn just didn't feel right without a movie in front of us. Hence the reason why we ended up buying tickets. The movie ended at 11:40! It was a late nite at casa nostra to say the least. And now I'm posting when I really should be in bed, to make sure I get my rest for the big day on Monday.

So buenas noches!